just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
