just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
