Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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