i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
