I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
