If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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