she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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