there's paper in my vomit.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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