Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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