barbara walters just said penis...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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