I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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