And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
