Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

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(630): View more from Illinois

We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.

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(573): View more from Missouri

You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

(816): View more from Missouri

Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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(310): View more from California

Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!

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(310): View more from California

Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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(613): View more from Ontario

The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"

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(541): View more from Oregon

Can I just swipe right on his dad?

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(607): View more from New York

I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”

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