smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
