Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
