i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
