You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
