she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
