hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
