so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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