i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize