I hate your face
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Congratulations! We have a period
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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