I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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