I seem to have left my pride at pride
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
