New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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