I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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