Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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