Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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