My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
