i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
