Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
