So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
