i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
