Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
