worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
