so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
