capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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