your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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