a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
