so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just want to make out with him forever
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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