apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
