Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
