I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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