Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
