I wanna passion pit in your ass
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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