Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
