OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
