3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i out mim tonsoeep
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
