mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
