I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
