found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
