We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
