In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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