I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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