the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
