shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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