We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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