So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
