I think my vagina is haunted
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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