Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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