I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
