this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
