you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Randomize
