so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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