ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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